Silas

January 31, 2013. My baby nephew's birthday. It has been a fabulous day.

For those of you that don't know my brother and sister-in-law's background, this was their third pregnancy. The first two ended with stillbirths. One at 22 weeks, one around 28 weeks. 

Both boys. 

Two funerals. 

Two teeny tiny caskets. 

The awful, gut-wrenching sound of a mother wailing next to her baby's grave. 

I'm sitting here crying thinking back on it.

Six months after they lost their first, they adopted a precious girl, Grace. Ten months after they lost their second, they adopted an adorable boy, Zeb. It has been such an emotional ride. They found out they were unexpectedly expecting baby #3 (or 5, depending on how you're counting!) the week before Charlie was born. Everyone was pretty shocked. And scared. And excited. Their doctor said that they would deliver at 28 weeks, regardless of the health of the baby, just to make sure. Everything was going so well that they decided to wait until 30 weeks, January 31.

Silas Bennett Lorntson was born today at 2:48 pm. 3 lbs, 6 oz, 18 inches long. Pink, squirmy, squeaking, breathing. So. Stinking. Awesome. I got to see Seth and Sonya today (and Silas!) at the hospital, and they are all doing well. I can't begin to imagine what they are feeling tonight. The last time I was on that floor, it was so very, very different. It will be a long road, as they have many days ahead in the NICU, but we are all praising God for this precious gift! 

Intervention

They say that the first step to recovery from an addiction is to admit that there's a problem. So it's about time I come clean, I suppose. *sigh* For the last several weeks I, Amanda Jennings, have been drinking...

instant coffee.

I know, I know. It's shameful. My mother-in-law is a coffee connoisseur, and I've been trying to hide my problem from her. My husband makes fun of me, and yet I return. Like a moth to an instant and barely satisfying flame. I have an awesome Cuisinart coffee pot and grinder sitting on the counter, but the allure of 65 seconds in the microwave is just too much for me to overcome. Clearly I need help.

It started when Charlie was born. It's not your fault, dear one. Don't blame yourself. The grinder seemed so loud when there were children sleeping. And pre-ground coffee required a measuring spoon, which was obviously too much of a burden for me to take on in the wee hours of the morning. Then I discovered Folger's instant coffee packets. Quick and clean. I tried to ignore it. Just one more time, I would tell myself. But the convenience continued to draw me back. Why must I struggle with this??

I need your help, friends. I need your encouragement and support. But most of all?

I need caffeine.

Charlie David Jennings

On September 1, 2012, we welcomed our third child into the world. Here is the story of Charlie's birth.

My due date was actually September 6, but as our other two kids were born early, we assumed that this baby would be too. I was hoping our baby would come on my dad's birthday, August 28. That week I picked up my activity level, going for long walks, going to parks, playing with the kids, racing Jack (I won, by the way), and nesting. On Friday (August 31), I went to lunch with Jeremy's mom and our kids. While I was there, Jeremy texted me this:

*yeah, yeah, I know. It's spelled "jalApeno."

He's so demanding. And he really didn't want me to go into labor at the beginning of a weekend, laboring all through the night, starting out with such little sleep (as had happened with our first two kids). Which, of course, is exactly what happened. 

5:30 pm: As I started to make supper, a wave of nausea and contractions hit me. By the time I sat down to have dinner, I was having contractions close to 3 minutes apart. I lay down and they subsided some, becoming more irregular.

8:00 pm: As we were finishing putting the kids to bed, I got an awful side cramp. After it lasted close to an hour, I called my midwife to ask what we should do. Because the side cramp seemed unusual, we decided to head to the hospital to get checked to make sure everything was ok.

9:15 pm: We got to the hospital and they started admitting us right away. I told the nurse, "I'm not even sure I'm in labor; maybe I should just get checked first?" You'd think that by round number three I would know if I was actually in labor or not.The midwife came and checked me and found that I was 6 cm dilated. Guess I was in labor! 

2:00 am: I had dilated to 7 cm, but progress seemed to be slowing, so I agreed to have my water broken. By the way, my water breaking has always been the defining moment when labor becomes WAY more intense, as I've never had an epidural. Laboring before that moment is like going for a jog on a nice fall afternoon. After that moment? It's like running a marathon. Up an endless flight of stairs that are covered in ice, even though it's 120 degrees out. Dragging a bag filled with bricks. Dodging bullets. You know...intense. 

2:30 am: While bouncing on a birthing ball, I got the worst case of the giggles. There I bounced, laughing hysterically, through contractions, to the point of nearly crying. My midwife came in and I told her I was pretty sure I had completely lost my mind. I'm surprised they let me take the baby home. 

3:15 am: I am no longer laughing. I put headphones in and turned on Blindside's "With Shivering Hearts We Wait" album. Perfect album to labor to for the next four hours. 

6:30 am-ish: Labor is stalling at 9 cm. My midwife asked if I wanted pitocin. I said I would try anything if it meant avoiding pitocin. I was becoming discouraged and thinking "I can't handle this any more!" I won't go into details here, but I will say I didn't end up having pitocin. And I will never forget the scene in that hospital room as I tried "anything."

7:00 am: I started pushing and completely stopped caring if our baby was a boy or girl. This was my first pregnancy where I did not find out the gender ahead of time. Jeremy did find out the gender at 20 weeks and kept it a secret the rest of the time. And he sure enjoyed it- watching me wash up boy and girl baby clothes, knowing which ones I would be packing back up later.

7:34 am: Finally, THE moment. 35 weeks and 1 day after I showed Jeremy a positive pregnancy test, we were meeting our third child, a son. Charlie David Jennings was born! All 9 lbs, 12.5 oz of him! I can't really describe how awesome that moment is...when everything you just went through is instantly worth it. "Thank you Jesus!!!" was really all I could say. New life is so amazing!

This...

..to this...

                      ...to THIS in a matter of hours!

The last 5.5 weeks with our newest family member have flown by. Charlie is an easygoing and laid back baby. He sleeps well at night, only getting up once the vast majority of nights. Jack and Brooklyn have adjusted far better than I ever imagined they would, and they love having a little brother. Brooklyn called Charlie her "little sister" for quite awhile (perhaps she was in denial?) but now talks about having two "brudders." When I see the three of them together with Jeremy, I feel like my heart is going to explode with joy.

I am blessed.

Honk If You're Crazy

Jeremy has been noticing lately that I seem to be losing it...mentally.  I think it stems mostly from the two small talking children that I'm around all day long.  If you're a parent, I think you know what I mean.  Let me recount a little bit of our morning in the car, running errands. My piano students were going be having their recital later in the day, so I was trying particularly hard to focus my thoughts.

*Ok, let me think. We should go to Staples first and then Hy-Vee. Oooh, I need to remember..*

Jack: Mom, is it today?
Me: Is what today?
Jack: Is IT today?
Me: I don't know what you're talking about. Is what today?
Jack: IS IT TODAY, MOM?!
Me: Yes. IT is today.

*Whew! Ok, so...Staples first. Then I need to figure out what we're having for lunch...*


Jack (we passed a pond): Mom, is that lake big enough to have sharks in it?
Me: No, sharks live in salt water.


*Wait, do they only live in salt water? Are there any fresh water sharks? I'm going to have to google that later*

Brooklyn: Salt water, Mama! Salt water! Salt water, Mama!
Jack: Is there salt water in creeks?
Me: No, creeks have fresh water. There's salt water in the ocean.
Jack: Is there an ocean in the creek?
Me: What? No.  I don't even know how to respond.

*I should have had that third cup of coffee this morning.*


Jack: Mom, let me tell you a joke. How do you make a sign out of junk?
Me: Umm...I don't know. How?
Jack, laughing: I don't know!!! Isn't that funny?
Me: No?
Jack: Is it funny when we say "I don't know"?
Me: Uhh...it depends on when you say it, I guess.
Jack: Why?

*Yeah, I really should have had that third cup.*


Jack: Mom, did you go the wrong way to get to Great Papa's?
Me: What?? When?
Jack: At Thanksgiving.
Me: Umm...no.
Jack: Oh.

*Good grief. Ok, so after Staples...*


Jack: Mom, do we drive a brownie car?
Me: Do we what? A brownie car?? No. No we do not.
Jack: Why not?
Me: Because we live in reality?
Jack: We live in what?
Me: Nevermind.


So there, Mr. Husband.  THAT is why I've been a little scatter-brained.   And by the way, freshwater sharks exist.

Quinoa Burgers & A Maiden

The Jennings have a new favorite recipe...so I had to share!  It's quite a few ingredients, more than I usually like to see in a recipe, but totally worth it!  And once you have all the ingredients on hand, these burgers are super easy to whip up. 

Quinoa Burgers (adapted from The Cancer Project)

1 cup cooked quinoa (about 1/2 cup uncooked)

1 cup mashed beans of your choice

1/4 cup wild rice (or brown rice or bulgar)

1/3 cup ground flax seeds

3 teaspoons Ener-g Egg replacer mixed with 6 tablespoons water (enough for 2 "eggs")

1/4 cup tomato sauce

1 tablespoon spicy brown mustard

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (or 2 garlic cloves, minced)

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

2 tablespoons horseradish

1 cup whole wheat bread crumbs

3 tablespoons canned green chiles

1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

salt/pepper to taste (I don't use any salt)

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl until well blended.  Form into patties.  Chill 20 minutes before cooking (you don't have to do this, but it helps keep a nice shape).  Lightly mist a skillet with cooking spray or oil.  Brown each patty for approximately 5 minutes on each side.  I haven't tried it, but apparently they freeze quite well!

By the way, each patty (not including bun, toppings, etc) has 10.6 g protein, 8.3 g fiber, 102 mg calcium, and 3.7 mg iron.  

Dinner is served!

Now, for a completely unrelated Jack moment.

Jack: Do you want to see my friend?

Me: Sure!

Jack, opening this book:

Jack:  Right here!  Her name is Jimmy M.

Me: Jimmy M??

Jack: Yep! That's it.  Jimmy M.  She's my friend. *pause* What is she?

Me: What...is she? She's a maiden. All forlorn.

Jack: Oh.....she has a nice face.

Having a 3 year old is the best.

Oh hey everybody!

After 8 days without a computer, and far longer without a healthy, smooth-running one, we're back up and ready to go.  Let's chat.

1. So our computer?  Yeah...it had 200+ viruses on it.  I think at some point we got a virus that made our computer crash when we tried to update it so we stopped updating. Fail. Needless to say, we've been disconnected from most everything for a little while.  No tv (didn't have that anyway) and no internet or even smartphones.  Just our trusty radio.  So...what'd I miss?

2.  Somebody is going to be visiting an optometrist soon and may be needing glasses.  I'll keep ya posted.

3. Lately, I've had the feeling that people are friendlier to me when I'm wearing earrings. Do they make me more approachable?

With earrings

Without

4.  In the absence of having internet, we've been catching up on old dvds.  I finally watched, for the first time, my college senior piano recital.  Jack watched it with me and said, "You should wear clothes when you play songs in the movie."  Pearls of wisdom from that boy, I tell you.

5.  Sleeping in + coffee + sunshine + more coffee = the feeling that I can do anything.  Like sell our house and buy an RV and travel the country playing piano (with clothes on) to pay for gas and food.  Or open a cafe.  Or have a successful vegetable garden.  Or form coherent sentences.  Jack must be experiencing something similar because he literally tried to jump into his book the other day...you know, to be a part of the story.  Also, he wanted to ride on his kite over to his cousin's house. Follow your dreams, man.

6.  On a slightly related note, what's it called if you're manic depressive without ever being depressed?  Just manic?  Ok, because I think that's what I have.

7.  My nephew's still in prison.  And by that I mean, he hasn't been born yet.  Still waiting to hear the news!  Also, I keep thinking about how amazing birth-mothers are.  Women that choose to give a baby a chance at life.  Allowing their mistakes and heartbreaking circumstances to be turned into something beautiful.  I keep thinking about Seth & Sonya's birth-mother, as she spends her last few days carrying the precious life growing inside her.  Wow.

8.  Finally, some more Jack quotes (from my twitter) to finish out this post:

"I'm just going to take a nap in the pool."

Jack, holding a bobby pin, "I NEED TO BREAK SOMETHING WITH THIS!" then mutters, "that impossible."

Jack hit his head.  Me: "How'd that feel?"  Jack: "Good and dangerous."

"Wellll....we had a good day this morning."

"Keep it down, my child."

"My friends gave me money to take to the bank....in Whoville.  That's where my bank is."

"I just had to burp because I'm gross."

"The airplane will suck you up when you have a bald spot."

Jack, sitting in a lawn chair, "You come and dance, Mom.  I'm going to watch you."

Me: "You're a little bit wild right now."  Jack: "Am I?  Am I?!  AM I????!"



You. Are. Welcome.

Update

I'm supposed to be working on about fifty important things right now, so naturally this seemed like the perfect time to update the ol' blog.

The big 3:
Jack celebrated his 3rd birthday last month (March 21).  Originally he asked for a rainbow for his birthday but later changed his mind to a dump truck.  The dump truck was easier to find in stores.  I also made him this simple cake:

It's hard to believe how fast he's growing up.  Being a mom has changed me in so many ways (mostly good, although there is still that belly button issue..), and I love it.  Having a 3 year old is FUN!  I love, love, love the things he says.  In case you don't follow me on twitter, here are a few recent quotes:
  
    "Oooh, this is a scary game," as we played soccer.

    "I don't want to learn! Instead I want to eat and watch a movie!"

    "These are chock full of vitamins, Dad," pointing to his stir-fry vegetables.

   "When I came out of you's tummy, I was seeing you play the piano."

    "I came out of you's tummy, then I got bigger & bigger & bigger..then I made PIZZA!"

    "My throat hurts.  Can you help me fix it?" handing me his toy drill.

    "When I was shaving my head, I cutted my....window?" looking very confused.



Brotherly/Sisterly Love:

It definitely warms my heart to see Jack and Brooklyn together.  Sometimes, I just sit back and look at them, marveling at birth, growth, life, and God's creativity.  They are best friends and can drive each other crazier than anyone else.  Definitely siblings.  Sometimes it's hard for Jack to be responsible around Brooklyn (keeping smaller toys away from her, watching out for her when he's running around, staying calm when she ruins his game, etc).  Sometimes, ok..often, it's hard for Brooklyn to give Jack space (when he's on the potty, or in the bath, or eating, or playing a game, or coloring, etc).  It's quite a journey, this parenting business!

Bun in the oven (the prison one...):
Things are still moving forward for Seth and Sonya to adopt a baby boy from the birthmother in prison.  He's due June 27, and I'm getting pretty stinkin excited.  I can't wait to see him and kiss him and tell him how cool is aunt is.  Hurry up June!


Kid-freeeeeeedom:
Brooklyn had her first overnight with Jeremy's parents (along with Jack), and we were kid-free for a whopping 30 hours.  It was weird.  And awesome.  After being "together" for 10 years, and married for almost 7, I still love hanging out with Jeremy.  He just... gets me.


Brooklyn's BFF:

Morgan reading a book to Brooklyn.  

 Alright.  That should do for tonight.  Until next time when I have something important that I'd like to put off.....peace.